Not A Perfect Life
by thengrl13
Summary: This is about a girl who goes through something horrible. How will she deal? And who will be the ones to help her through this?
1. How Could He?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Degrassi……but a girl can dream**

**Ok, this fanfic is mainly about Emma. Something happens to her, and this is about how she deals with it. Some info that you'll need to know is that emma and chris are dating (for now) and sean and ellie are dating. This takes place after 'anywhere I lay my head,' but before 'time stands still'.**

**It started out like every other party Emma and Chris had come to together. They were laughing and dancing and having an awesome time. "This party is great Chris!" Emma exclaimed. **

"**Yeah, I know! But do you maybe want to go upstairs where it's a little less noisy?" Chris questioned.**

**Emma hesitated before she answered. She had a pretty good guess at why chris wanted to go upstairs. And she wasn't ready. "but this is chris I'm talking about. Not some random guy. He won't do anything I don't want to do. I trust him." Em thought to herself.**

"**um, sure, I guess" she answered reluctantly. **

**They walked up the stairs and chris walked into one of the bedrooms and emma followed. He then sat down on the bed, and emma did the same.**

"**so, why did you want to come up here?" emma asked.**

"**I just wanted to be alone with my girl" he responded.**

"**oh, well maybe we should head back down" Emma said. **

"**why? We just got up here. Lets stay awhile" he stated while scooting closer to her.**

" **Well I do need to go home soon" Emma said.**

"**Em, it's only nine" Chris said. **

"**really? It's still that early?" she was starting to get nervous. **

"**is there something wrong?" Chris questioned. **

"**um, no. im just tired. That's all" she said**

**chris put his arm around her. "well let me help you wake up". He leaned into kiss her but she stood up. "what are you doing?"**

**emma quickly thought of an excuse. "I think I was supposed to watch jack tonight"**

"**your mom said she was going over to joeys"**

"**are you sure?" she knew it was true, but she was just trying to stall**

"**yes, im sure. Now where were we?" he got emma sitting on the bed next to him again and they started to make out. But after a minute Emma pulled back. "now whats wrong?!" Chris forcefully asked.**

"**Chris, this isn't right" she stated**

"**whats not right" not understanding**

"**you…and me…up here…alone" she said slowly**

"**come on em, nothings going to go wrong" he assured her.**

"**listen chris, im not ready" she said quietly**

**chris looked a little shocked "why not?! I love you and you love me right?!"**

"**yeah, I guess. But that doesn't mean-" she got cut off by chris**

"**then what are you waiting for?!" he said, pushing her down on the bed.**

"**chris! Whatare you doing?!stop!" she exclaimed**

**chris started to whisper in her ear "em, you know you want me. Why else would you have agreed to come up here with me in the first place?"**

"**just let me up chris! It was a mistake!" she said trying to hold back tears**

**chris didn't let her up. "all we're going to do is have a little fun!"**

"**no! chris! Please! Stop!" emma begged. But it was no use**

**xXx**

**emma was walking home later that night crying. "how could I have been so stupid?! Going upstairs with him?!but I thought chris was different! But I was wrong!" emma thought to herself. She kept walking and when she was passing seans house she noticed tnat sean jay and alex were all outside. "great, just what I need is to be made fun of by them. Maybe they wont see me….oh who am I kidding? One of them will."**

**Jay was the first one to see her, and when he noticed she was crying, he decided to use it against her. "aw, miss save the world is crying" he said sarcasticly.**

"**can you just leave me alone, just this once?" emma said desperately**

"**na, I don't think I will. So what happened? Did a tree die?"**

"**yeah jay, that's it. A tree. I mean my world revolves around the environment right? So what else could have possibly happened?" she said looking at him, and it sounded like she had no life left in her**

**jay sean and alex all looked at her surprised at hat she had just said because emma never took shit from them. Emma just kept walking, and when she finally got to her house, she quietly climbed through her window, so her parents wouldn't wake up, and layed in her bed and cried her self to sleep.**

**That's the end of chapter one. I'll try to have chapter two up tomorrow night. And I'm sorry if chris was wayyy out of character. I just needed something big to happen to emma.**


	2. Did You Call My Life Pefect?

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi, yada yada yada…….**

**Thanks for all the reviews, and for those of you that were wondering if this was a sean/emma or a jay/emma…it kinds starts out with neither then it turns into a sean/emma…well please read and review!thnx!**

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The next day at school Emma found out that Chris had transferred schools .(A/N-ok, I no that you cant really change schools over night, but work with me here) She was happy about that, because that mean she hopefully never had to see or talk to him again. But she was of course still very depressed about the night before. The tears had been building up in her all day. When she couldn't take it any more, she decided to just skip her last class. She sat down in front of her locker, with her legs sticking out in front of her, she put her head in her hands, and just started crying. Meanwhile, walking down that same hall was none other then Sean. (A/N-imagine that. What fate does) He was wearing his headphones, so he didn't hear Emma crying, and he didn't see her because he wasn't really paying attention. That is until he tripped over her legs and almost fell down.

"what the-Emma?!" Sean looked down at her.

She looked up to see who had tripped over her, "go away sean" she said coldy, wiping some of the tears of her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

"you do know you're skipping class right?" sean said matter-of-factly with a bit of a smart ass tone

"yeah, I'm aware of that. Now just leave me alone!"

He decided not to. "what's up with you anyways? You were crying last night, now you're skipping class and crying again"

"didn't we all agree a tree died?" she said with an attitude

"ha, funny Em" sean replied, "so what really happened in your perfect little life that you're so upset about?"

"hold up, did you just say my life was perfect?!" she questioned furiously

"yeah, I did" he answered

"my life is the farthest thing from perfect!" she stated in disbelief that he had actually just said that

"really? And what's so bad about it?!"

"here, let me tell you! Where should I start?! How about the summer before 7th grade!" she practically screamed

"that was over three years ago!" he said

"you wanna know what's so bad about my life then I'll tell you!" she argued

"fine!" he agreed

"first the whole Jordan thing happened-" she started to say before being cut off by Sean

"who the hell is Jordan?!"

"some guy I talked to on the internet through e-mail for about 8 months. Really smart thing to do. Then he said he was visiting and wanted to meet me, so like the idiot that I am, I went to the hotel that he wanted me to go to! Luckily my mom and snake came before anything happened!" She said, holding back tears from that dreadful memory

"what?" Sean asked in shock "you never told me that before"

"well you never asked, I mean not that you would have cared!"

"Em-" it was Emma's turn to cut him off

"then 7th grade started. Got my first period at school and had to wear a fricken pair of gym shorts the rest of the day! I accidentally started a horrible rumor about Liberty! Lets see, Manny joined the Spirit Squad and we had a whole argument about that! Oh, and you pushed me in a pile of leaves at the end of the year!"

"did you really have to bring that up?!" he said

"yeah, I did. Other so-called perfect things that have happened in my life were that I found out my dad jumped off a bridge, and if I remember right, you wouldn't even help me look for him! So Craig did! But of course you have absolutely no problem skipping with Jay! Whatelse?! My mom married my teacher! My mom had Jack, and I had to babysit him, which took up half my life! Then my step dad got cancer! And you just couldn't accept the fact that I couldn't spend enough time with you and made it look like I didn't want to! So you dumped me! You Jay and Alex all treat me like crap! Manny changed her image which completely changed her attitude. And one night she left me at a Rave to go back to MY house to make out on MY bed with Craig. She called me a Prude Princess, I called her the school slut! End of that friendship for a few months! Then last night-(she caught herself before she said it) Is that enough 'great' and 'wonderful' things that have happened in my life for you sean?! She finally finished outraged and out of breath

"ok, I get it. But what happened last night that's so bad?"

**

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I'll try and update as soon as I can. Plz read and review. Thanks everyone!**


	3. Help Me

**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Degrassi**

**thanx for all the replies, please R and R. and im sooo sorry it took me this long to write the next part. I've been really busy because I just moved.**

**PART 3**

"Nothing!" emma shouted at him

"well it doesn't sound like nothing to me!" Sean answered

"look, you wouldn't understand ok!" she screamed

"why! Am I too dumb or something!" He responded

"NO! Because you've never had to of gone through anything like it!"she said

"You sure about that! Because I've one through some pretty shitty things too!"he yelled back

"maybe you have! But have you ever been raped!" she said while slapping her hand over her mouth. She couldn't believe she had just said that….and to Sean.

Shock came over Sean's face. "what!" he stopped yelling, "Em, you were raped?"

She was trying to think of an excuse, "no, I …..I just said I bet you never were. I don't know why I said that though. I have to get to class" she said while standing up.

"Emma" he said

She started to cry again

"who did it? How did it happen?" he ask carefully

"I guess it was my fault in a way" she said

"what do you mean?" he questioned

"I did go upstairs with him. If I wouldn't have, nothing would have happened. I'm just an idiot" she said with tears still streaming out of her eyes.

"Em, you know your not an idiot" he said trying to comfort her,"but who did this to you? Was it Chris?"

Emma nodded her head

"He did?" he looked a little surprised, "I always thought he was the good guy or something" he stated

"yeah, me too. That's why I didn't think anything was going to happen. But of course I was wrong"

"what class is he in? I'll go pound him" he said

Emma smiled a little bit, "thanks, but he switched schools"

"what?" he asked

"I guess he was to afraid or ashamed to show his face or something" she said

"yeah, I guess" he agreed

"and I thought you were the biggest ass in the world, but Chris beat you….sorry, I shouldn't have said that"

"no, you're right. I was an ass. And I'm sorry for everything I did." He said.

"thanks, and I forgive you. Well, the bells going to ring any minute so I'm just going to head home. And Sean, please don't tell anyone. Ok?" she asked

"Em, you should tell someone" he stated

"I did. I told you. And please don't make me regret it. So don't say anything to anyone ok?" she said with sadness in her voice

"yeah…ok" he agreed, the he hugged Emma and said "if you need anything at all, just tell me ok?"

"ok, thanks"

The bell rang and Ellie walked out of class and saw Emma and Sean hugging

They pulled away

"bye" Emma said

"bye"

Well I hope you liked that part. Sorry if you didn't. Please Review, thanks. And I'll try to get the next part up soon.


	4. Leave Her Alone

**Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Degrassi**

**thanx for all the replies, please R and R. and im sooo sorry it took me this long to write the next part..**

**Ok, this part isn't one of my favorites, its kinda boring, but it has to happen, so sorry**

Sean is waiting on the steps for Ellie. She finally comes out. She sees Sean and she really doesn't want to talk to him at the moment, because she knows it won't turn out good if she goes and talks to him right now, so she tries to avoid him. But before she can slip away unnoticed, Sean sees her and walks over to her and puts his arm around her waist.

"Hey" he said simply

Ellie pushed his arm off of her before replying "What do you want?"

Sean looked a little confused "I thought we were gonna walk home together?"

"Why don't you walk your girlfriend home!" she snapped at him

Now Sean looked even more confused "Um, el, you're my girlfriend"

"So you think I'm gonna let you have another girlfriend while you're going out with me! Well think again!" she started to walk off but sean lightly grabbed her wrist

"Ellie, what the hell are you talking about!"

"Don't play dumb with me Sean, I saw you getting all close to Emma and hugging her!"

"what! That's what this is about? God El, it was just a hug. She's going through a rough time and I was just trying to help by comforting her"

"And what did you have to comfort her about?" she questioned

"I can't tell you. I promised I wouldn't. But I swear that nothing is going on with me and Emma"

"Are you sure?" she asked, still not completely believing him

"Yes. I would never cheat on you okay?"

"Okay. Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have accused you"

"Don't worry about it. Just forget it. So are you doing anything tonight?"

"Nothing, like usual. Why?" she asked

"Well, I was thinking, do you wanna go to the DOT for dinner instead of just ordering in pizza?"

"Sure. Sounds great. But I'm just gonna meet you there at seven because I just remembered that I told Ashley I was going to come over after school for a while"

"Alright, see you then" he kissed her for a few seconds "bye"

"bye"

88888888888888888

At the Dot, Emma was sitting at the back drinking a strawberry milkshake just staring into space. Sean and Ellie were at the other side . Jay and Alex just walked in and saw Emma sitting alone, so they decided to go over by her and mess around with her.

"Hey Alex, I guess Green Peace here is once again dateless" Jay said

"Imagine that" Alex replied

"Wow, I'm really impressed. I never knew you guys could count to one. Congratulations." She snapped back

"Real funny" Jay said

"Well I guess no trees died today, because Little Miss Save the World isn't crying any more" Alex smirked

"Yeah Alex, that was just hilarious" Emma shot back

"I'm getting sick of your attitude problem-" Alex started to say

"I'm the one with the attitude problem? Please. Look at you" Emma said before she could finish

"You are seriously on my last nerve. And I'm gonna do something about it" Alex replied

" I'd like to see you try" Emma challenged her

"Okay, I will"

Just then Sean and Ellie walked over

"Why don't you guys just leave Emma alone?" Sean asked

" And what's up with you Cameron? When did you become her body guard?" he questioned while smirking

Emma was sick of this, so she stood up, slammed the money on the table and stormed out before any one could say anything more to her.

"Ellie, looks like you have some competition" Alex said

"Just shut the hell up Alex" Ellie responded before storming out of the DOT

"Thanks a lot!" Sean said then went after Ellie

8888888888888888

Sorry if this part was lame, please R and R


	5. Betrayed

**Disclaimer: once again, I do not own Degrassi, it quite depressing really**

**Thanks for the replies**

**Now for chapter 5**

The next day manny and emma are walking to school together

"So, Em, are you feeling okay?" Manny asked

" Uh, yeah, I guess, why?" Emma questioned, looking at Manny with a confused expression on her face

"I don't know. Its just that you've seemed kinda depressed the last couple of days" Manny responed

"Well I guess I should start smiling for the camera more" She replied back, managing to laugh a little

" I'm serious. Is something wrong? Or are you just upset about chris moving?" Manny sounded worried

The last thing Manny had said caught Emma of guard. She didn't want anyone else to know what had happened to her, so she decided to be very vague.

"Um, yeah, that's it"

" What did happen to him? You never even told me he was leaving" Manny kept the questions coming

" that's because I didn't know" Emma said, really wanting to drop the subject

" so he just left without saying goodbye? What a jerk!"

" you have no idea"

"Wait, what do you mean? Did something else happen?" Manny was getting worried again

"No, I don't know why I said that. Im jut pissed at him, that all" she said lying

" Oh, okay. Well were at school. Another fun day of learning pointless stuff that we'll never use again" Manny commented

"yeah (she sees sean and jay sitting on the steps) um, Manny , I need to go talk to Sean"

" why?" she asked curiously

" I just have to tell him something" emma responded back with a little hint of annoyance in her voice

"okay, okay. I was just asking"

Emma and Manny walked over to them

Jay looked up and saw them before Sean did " what do you want now Green Peace?"

" Jay-" Sean started to say, but emma cut him off

": Sean, listen. Thanks and all about yesterday. But I really don't need you sticking up for me"

" you're right, what was I thinking? Trying to help you" he said with aggravation in his voice

" okay, you don't have to be a complete ass either" she responded with an attitude

" yeah, well you cant have it both ways"

"I guess you're right. I mean you're so careless to everyone and everything around

you! The only person you do care about is your self! Sorry, I just forgot that for a second!" she yelled at him in outrage

" yeah, maybe you're right. But at least I'm not careless enough to get raped! (he realized what he just said) em, I didn't mean to-"

He got cut off once again, but this time Emma slapped him across the face

" you know what sean! You are the biggest ass in the world!"

" what the hell are you two talking about?" Manny asked, now she was completely lost

"yeah, really" Jay questioned, who was equally confused

" nothing! Manny lets go!" emma screamed

" but em-" Manny started to protest

" now!"

":okay, okay" Manny quickly responded

Emma then stormed into school with Manny following close behind

**If you like this, please R and R, it would mean a lot to me**


	6. I'm sorry

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi blah blah blah….**

**Thanks for all the replies**

**Now for chapter 6**

"Okay, what the hell was that about?" Jay asked Sean

"Nothing, just forget about."

"Whatever man"

xXx

"Em, what happened out there?" Manny questioned, while they walked down the hall.

" Just another mistake, my life's full of them. I'll deal"

"But Sean said something about you being-" Manny started, but Emma cut her off

"Manny! Can we please just drop it! I really don't want to talk about it! God!"

"Okay, sorry Em" Manny said weakly

Emma sighed "It's not your fault, I didn't mean to blow up at you like that. I'm just going through a really rough time right now"

"Well, can I like help you in some way? Can I do anything for you?" Manny asked

"Thanks, but no one can help me" Emma replied sadly

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am. I'll get over what I'm going through soon enough. I just need some time, that's all"

"Okay Em. Well we should get into MI, the bells gonna ring any second"

"Yeah, okay"

Emma and Manny walked into MI and sat down in their seats. A minute later, Sean walks in and takes a seat at the other side of the room. In the middle of class, he decided to IM Emma.

Whocares: Em, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that out there

Sparklespaz: You know what Sean! Just don't talk to me ever again! I cant believe you said that out there! I trusted you! And Jay and Manny aren't stupid! They heard what you said! Manny already asked me about it, and I just told her to drop it! I hope you're happy, because I sure as Hell am not! I didn't think that it was possible for my life to get any worse! But just leave it to you for that to happen! Thanks so much!

Whocares: listen, I know I screwed up Emma, and I'm sorry alright? Its just that I'm not having the best day.

Sparklespaz: And I am!

Whocares: I didn't say that. Do you want to know why my day sucks?

Sparklespaz: fine, whatever!

Whocares: Because Ellie dumped me

Sparklespaz: what are you talking about? You to were at the DOT together yesterday

Whocares: yeah, well after you left, Alex told her that she had some competition so Ellie stormed out, I followed her, and she wanted to know why all of a sudden I was talking to you.

Sparklespaz: so you told her too!

Whocares: No! God Emma, that's why she broke up with me!

Sparklespaz: what?

Whocares: she didn't believe me that nothing was going on between us, so she thought I was cheating on her.

Sparklespaz: omg, Sean, im so sorry. Now I feel even worse. Do you want me to talk to Ellie about what happened?

Whocares: No, I already told Jay and Manny, I don't really think anyone else who doesn't need to know should. And I didn't tell you that so you would feel worse. So don't be sorry, because its not your fault.

Sparklespaz: Are you sure?

Whocares:yeah

Just then Me.Simpson started to walk towards Emma.

"Emma, what are you typing?" he asked

"what?" she looked up from her computer

"I said 'what are you typing'?"

"I'm not typing anything" she lied

"Really?" he questioned with a suspicious look on his face

"Yes" she answered

He is now almost beside her. She quickly Xed out the IM window.

"If you weren't typing anything, then what were you doing? Because you weren't paying any attention to what I was talking about"

"Well, you know me" she smiled and shrugged her shoulders

"okay then, back to class.." he said

"…That was close, too close" Emma thought to herself

xXx

**Sorry if it was boring, please R and R…thanks**


	7. Don't Play the Blame Game

**Thanks for all the replies, hope you like this part.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI! it's actually quite depressing**

**xXx**

After class Emma felt a breakdown coming on so she went into the girls washroom and went into one of the stalls and started crying. She hated how much she's been crying lately. She thought it made her look weak, but she couldn't help it, they just flowed out.

"Emma, is that you?" the person asked

" Yeah Paige, it's me" Em replied

She walked out of the stall and wiped the tears off of her face with the sleeve of her shirt

" So what's wrong with you?" she asked while applying some lip gloss

" Uh, nothing. Can I ask you something though?" Emma asked

"Sure hun"

" You were raped by that Dean guy right?" Emma questioned carefully

Paige put the lip gloss back into her purse before answering

" Gee hun, thanks for reminding me, I was trying to forget" She said a little snappy

" I'm sorry, its just that, well…." Emma trailed off

" Its just that what?"

" Well, i…I was..uh" Emma started to say, but couldn't go any further

" Emma, just say it already" Paige said, starting to get impatient

"I was…that happened to me too" She finally said

" What! It did?" Paige replied with a hint of shock in her voice

"Yeah"

" Oh my god hun. Did you tell anyone?" Paige asked, now with much concern

" One person, well now two"

" Whos the other person?" She asked

" Sean" Emma said simply

" Wait, you told him? Why would you do that?" Now Paige was getting confused

" It just kinda came out when I was talking to him"

" So your parents don't know then?" Paige questioned

" Are you crazy? I could never tell me parents!" Emma said loudly

Paige sighed " how long ago did this happen?"

" A couple days ago"

" Hun, you really need to tell an adult, like your mom. Listen, you might have a disease or something"

" I already said im not tell my mom okay! And if I have a disease I don't care! Let me die! My life sucks enough as it is!" Emma said in a harsher tone then intended

" Calm down Emma. You don't mean what you just said . I know exactly what you're going through"

" I know, I'm sorry" Emma started to get tears in her eyes again, so she grabbed some paper towel, and wiped her eyes.

"Its not your fault. Its not my fault. The person to blame is the person who did that to you." Paige said

" Yeah, you're right. But I could have prevented it. I shouldn't have gone upstairs with him" Emma replied back

" That's how I felt too, but trust me, you don't want to keep thinking you could have stopped it. Because you couldn't have. He would have gotten what he wanted eventually. It took me awhile to realize that, and I don't want you going through that extra pain too." Paige explained to her

" Thanks Paige"

" You don't need to thank me. But I really think you should tell someone else. Maybe you could talk to Ms. Sauve, that's who I went to" Paige responded carefully

" I'll think about it"

"Okay, well that a start. Sorry, but I need to get back to class, Ms. Kwan's probably wondering what's taking me so long."

" yeah, I should get to class too. And thanks Paige, I mean it" Emma said sincerely

"Hun, it was no problem. Just let me know if you wanna talk. See ya"

"Alright, bye"

**xXx**

**sorry if that part completely sucked. It's not one of my favorite chapters. And sorry for all the grammatical errors, its like midnight. Well please R and R, even if they are flames**


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